Tuesday, November 29, 2011

.: Ghost :.

As I laid here in the forest, dirt and roots beneath me, to let the normal noise that haunts my mind clash with the sounds of the trees and whispers of the wind. A place where I can escape and run away from this place I call purgatory, at times I wonder will I ever see an end or will I go on searching for reality in this forbidden plane. People once told me that the light at the end of the tunnel burns brighter with every step to take towards it, in my case this is not so. The lights in the eyes of everyone around me slowly begins to fade and what was a scream of joy becomes nothing but a whisper in my memory. Through the fog and into the threshold of the unknown looking for the gates to my salvation, instead slowly sinking into the depths of desperation hidden in the vast corners of my mind. In the clouded skies I search for the eye of the moon to guide me when all is lost. A sea of subconscious, a island of reality and it seems I'm usually stuck at sea, but tonight, underneath the moon and laying down on the dirt. Surrounded by the foliage and rocks of all sizes, tonight and only tonight do my feet actually touch the earth. For once I'm not drifting nor sinking, for once I'm here and the voices that plague my mind with the constant howling subside,the storm in my soul stops, all that is now is all that is to be. When you live in fear of the the world around you and the world you create, you live in a world where everything is grey and the only thing that keeps you alive is the calls and cries of the ones you hold dear, the ones you love, and when they are gone what are you? Your just another ghost...

I live in fear that one day you will replace me...

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Thursday, November 24, 2011

.: T H A N K S :.

Not that many people care but today is thanksgiving in the United States, a day to dedicated to show thanks for everything we are grateful for. I want to take this time to give thanks to everyone in my life who has been there to support and care for me. Although I may not express it enough I truly do care for each one of my friends, without you guys I would be lost. There is no particular order in which i am going to do this so don't expect one.

First of all I would love to thank my Mom and Dad for always being supportive of me in every aspect of my life and being the foundation of my being as a whole. No matter what I do that people glare at me for, be it dressing odd or acting strange you both accept me for who I am despite all that. We do have our moments where we argue but the good always outweigh the bad. When there is a moment of desperation or of sadness I can always count on you guys to lookout and protect me whenever my world falls apart. No words can express how much I love you guys.

Now I would like to thank my brother Steven, you have always looked out for me since the beginning of my existence. Your words of wisdom have served me well all these years and have guided me and molded me into the person I am today. Whenever I need advice or help with certain situations I can always count on you to help me. You always try to cheer me up and make sure I am ok, no matter how odd I may be you accept me for who I am problems and all. I could not ask for a better brother because I already have the best one out there.

Bertha, Mi hermana, My sister you always make me smile, you are there for me, you are my rock you will always be there for me. I will always be grateful that life has made it possible to see each other again, although the tragedy that reunited us was horrible something good came out of it. You gave me 3 miracles that I'll always be so proud to call my nephews and niece. I can tell you everything and anything without being scared of being judged, to you I will always be your little sister and you will always be my big sister and no matter what life throws at us we have each other! I love you so much! and your babies too!

Anita Patita!!! Me and you and you and me, no matter how you roll the dice, it has to be the only on for me is you, and you and me so happy together. Its been about 7+ years since we became friends and throughout those years you have been nothing but sunshine to me (: you have been there for me when I needed people the most and a smile is always on my face whenever me and you are together. I remember all our little adventures together and they always make me think of happy times. From playing with barbies when we were both small to trying to pass Zelda to ranting about our problems we have always been united!!! I can't wait to visit you and do all the crazy things we do when we are together which usually involves some videogames and some random conversation about random things, I consider you a sister and I love you so much, thank you for being my friend for years and I hope for many more years to come! You have a place in my heart to call your own.

There is 1 thing 2 say 3 words 4 you! I love you!!! Jessica my best friend :3 my twin! I am so grateful to have you in  my life. From the beginning you were always there for me, through the thick and the thin you kept me from dying inside. You are so nice and kind to me and protect me from the people who wish to do me harm or make the smile on my face fade. The memories we have made together will last me a lifetime and I look forward to making more along with the extensive collection of insiders we have. Your a little piece of my world because of all you have done for me that I will always be thankful for. Our skype calls always entertain me and never fail to make me feel like there is someone out there that cares about me and my happiness. Thanks for being there and being my friend, I love you woman!!!

Hey there Filip what's it like in Australia? We are a thousand miles away but I suck at writing lyrics because nothing rhymes with Australia. (Its funny how you are texting me as I type this) If I wanna be thankful for something this year I would say one of those things is you. Where to begin with you, hmmm. Well I wanna say thank you for being there for me, you always listen to my problems and try to help me out the best way you can. You always, no matter what Im feeling, make me smile and laugh and thats something not alot of people can accomplish. You make me feel like happy with who I am and always encourage me in whatever I do. One thing I would like to say to you, your one of my best friends and that Ill always be here for you, just like you are for me. No matter how broken I am you dont care you still care about me regardless. I love when we skype and when we talk on the phone, those are memories that I can always count on to make me smile. You are such an amazing individual. You go out of your way to make me smile and words can't explain how much that brightens up my day. I love you, and always will.

Oh sister, oh my little babydoll, my Brittany! I love you woman granted that you are just so nice and kind to me. You listen to me when others fail to even ask me how my day went and you make me feel comfortable in my own skin regardless of the many faults I find on myself. You hear all my problems and always comfort me when I feel the world is collapsing on top of me. You have a beautiful mind and such a big heart, your kindness is like space, vast and eternal. I can share all my worries and ideas and you lovingly accept and support me. I am so glad I met you and we shall ride our scooters down into the sunset with our cats while singing we found each other in the dark! I love you my babydoll, and remember that I will always care about you when others don't want to be there I will.

Thanks for taking the time to read this, I love you all so much! Thank you for always being there and being a continuous source of love and Inspiration, I LOVE YOU GUYS<3

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Sunday, November 13, 2011

.: A R T :.


I made this little guy yesterday, meet Ghostfire...